Official Unofficial Crush January 19, 2012

Make sense? Why would anything that has to do with feelings or love or any of that stuff make any freakin’ sense? It just doesn’t make sense! Period! No! Nope! No sense! A while back I was shoved back into the dating scene without a say on whether or not I wanted to be back in. Armed with a suitcase of child, stretch marks, a broken heart, post breast-feeding breasts, shorter hair and no guidebook on dating in the world of twitter, FourSquare & Facebook! The only thing I had going for me was my size 2 designer denim pants & the driver’s license that let the world know I had hit 30 yet. I was back in my city and didn’t even know how to keep the gaze of a man! I stumbled and fumbled my way through conversations and drinks with men while toy cellphones and pacifiers stumbled out of my purse on to the bar table scarring them sterile! Meanwhile my email, Facebook, twitter & cell phone are blowing up with messages from past hopefuls smelling the single on me and hoping to jump in and solidify their spot in my heart again or maybe for the first time! But after much thought, I realized that the girl they were chasing was the girl pre-steven/pre-jaxon/pre-awakening Brooke. That Brooke wasn’t even sure if a marriage was possible! That Brooke NEVER thought she could ever be a housewife or stay-at-home mom! That Brooke didn’t think she could pay attention to the same man for more than a month without getting bored! That Brooke loved herself and no one else!

So I had to think real hard. Who was I, now? I mean, I know who I am as a person and what I am as far as being a mom and what direction I was going. But who was I as a woman? What was I looking for? Did I want the complete opposite of Steven? Did I want the same exact person as Steven? What did I even find an attractive anymore?! Ugh! I was in a very confusing place! I know I was tired of dating in Hollywood. But at the same time I felt like finding love outside of Hollywood led me to Steven which ended up not working out! To most people outside of Hollywood, what we do is either not “normal” work or work at all! And actually that was one of the last things he said to me on the subject of our relationship, that I was too caught up in missing LA and wouldn’t just get a normal job! I’d consider working 12-14 hours standing on my feet, creating, pushing paper, and collecting a check a normal job…but you know, what do I know, right?! So dating out of Hollywood was out of the question…right? Maybe not! My best friend and big sister is an actress who fell in love with a man who is so far removed the entertainment business it’s hilarious, and somehow they make it work. They make it work very well! So it gave me some hope. It also gave me some courage to do just what she did, join match.com!

Yea, yea, laugh if you want to! But you know what I’ve met some great potential guys that I have enjoyed speaking with and meeting! It’s actually taken my circle and opened it up to so many other possibilities. Have I found love?! Not yet! However I have found a cutie pie, sweet guy that I’m just absolutely crushing over. You know that blushing, tickle tummy, broad smile feeling you get when someone calls or texts, yea that! Nothing serious or even frivolous, just nice. It’s nice to chat with someone about kids, life and politics. It’s nice to be crushed on and adored through sentiments & action. I’m taking it day by day and enjoy whatever it brings with no expectations. The one thing I find people do is begin to compare their current situation to their previous situation and try to fix this relationship before it even begins. Or they take time to “focus on themselves” but their just guarding themselves from love. One thing I won’t do is block the blessings coming my way. Who knows what could happen! He could crush my heart worse than Steven. He could be the greatest love I’ll ever know. It may not go anywhere at all! But I’m not going to create the ending before it even begins.

I mean I don’t know what the hell I’m doing! But who really does! The last time I let go and let God I ended up in a relationship for three years where I created a beautiful family and gave a kind of love I didn’t even know I had in me. Yes it ended, but it wasn’t a failure because we built something and created something great. It was meant to be so that Jaxon could be born and be the great the little person he is! And that was all God! So I figure he did such a great job last time, I’ll let him take the wheel this time again! I mean, after all, He is GOD! I think he might know what he’s doing!

The Courage To Live January 18, 2012

I woke up this morning to some sad news, my friend Rikkii’s father lost his battle with cancer this morning. I never got to meet Tony, I just knew of him through Rikkii. Since I’ve known her, her father has been in N-stage, but he wasn’t waiting to die. Everything I heard about him sounded like he was continuing to live!

The strength of Rikkii’s parents and her family to fight Tony’s cancer even when his doctors and everyone else gave up on him, was nothing short of inspirational! He proved that the ability to fight to live, even if it’s for another hour is very possible. They gave him four months almost two years ago, and he decided he just wasn’t ready to go. I am amazed and inspired by the four of them. It always seem like you can never find the right words to say to a family during a time like this because the pain is great. I just ask that you join me in praying for their family. Because no matter how much you feel you prepare yourself for someone’s death, it’s still extremely hard when it finally comes to pass. All my love!

Take a little time to hug your children, loved ones and friends today! Really everyday! Everyday you should try a little harder to have more love & peace in your life! We only get one shot at life, it’s a beautiful thing to share, so continue to live! Take nothing for granted! Enjoy your time on this earth!

 

xoox

Red Tails January 18, 2012

I’ve been hearing so many mixed feelings from people about going to the LucasFilm Red Tails, coming out on Friday. And I’m confused as to why people are not trying to support this film. Why people believe that supporting this film is only supporting George Lucas is beyond me. We as a black community have allowed others to come in and tear apart at the seams of brotherhood we once had by dividing us up into skin tone, class, education and circumstance. We have become defensive and uneducated when it comes to our history, our future and support. So many people think that a white man can’t tell a black man’s story. George Lucas is telling the story of heroes, of American heroes. What he saw in the story was that of American Elite Military Airmen. He didn’t see black. He didn’t see disadvantaged. He saw what they were, some of the best group of military men fighting in WWII. This is how we should see them, because this is how the Tuskegee Airmen see themselves!

Put aside who made the film. Put aside who wouldn’t make the film. Put aside your personal feelings about Lucas or the major studio & distribution companies. You, I , We should all know this story! We should know more than black men weren’t allowed to fight in many US wars so there were only a select few in history that made an impact. We should know more than this was the push into the civil rights movement that we needed! We should know how they won their battles, just how amazing they were at their jobs and who these men were! We should know them because their fight, their passions, their education is apart of us. Yes, their courage to stand up and be the best helped pave an easier road to be able to choose where we live, work, and who we love. But beyond that, their courage should be an inspiration to us to be better than we ever thought we could be. Their fight should be ignite a spark in us to fight for whatever it is we believe in, to fulfill our dreams in passions. In a day and age where children are fighting for a light and hope in a social media vacuum of darkness and lowliness, a story about a group of men finding the courage to fight for a country where most people didn’t believe that had souls, can bring them hope to fight another day! These men were Americans, before they were Airmen and they were children of God before they were black! Their story deserves to be told!

I’m going on Friday January 20th to see Red Tails. I will take my 2 year old son! In 10 years I will sit him down with the Blu-Ray disc and we will watch it again. After he is done, I will tell him that he once saw it with me on opening day in the theatre and was apart of history. Then I will send him upstairs to google The Tuskegee Airmen, The Tuskegee Experiment and The Tuskegee Air Academy and write me a paper on what he learned from them about being an American, about being black then and now, about what inspired him, and what it means to be a human being. These are stories he has to know! Not just to grow up and be a successful BLACK man, but stories he has to know to be a successful man! I hope that you too will join me on January 20th and take your children. Not just to support Lucas or Neyo or stick it to the man. I hope that you go so you can share another American story of courage, inspiration and history with your child! We always talk about The American Dream, wondering where it is or where it went. It’s here! Seek it out and share it!

Nu Year, Nu Life, Nu Thought Process January 13, 2012

I’ve spent the last few months trying to figure out how to bring in the new year with a new mind-set to go with the new path I have created and the goals I have set. I’ve spent so much time trying to find ways to not be angry about my current situation, that I haven’t really found a way to not be angry about my current situation until I finally realized that I had no reason to be angry anymore because there was nothing I could do about it but change it! If I really wanted it to change, I could change it and so I have.

I’ve spent my time digesting, working through and understanding my grief about the break up of my relationship. I spent so much time saying that I was mourning the break up of my family, and not realizing that no matter how far away I get from my ex romantically, he and I will always have the blessing of being apart of a family through this amazing little person we are raising. And that’s when the light came through and it damn near knocked me off my feet making me feel stupid. I’ve been spending all these months focusing on the horrible, that I forgot my blessings. So I decided that everyday I would take 10 minutes in the morning and at night to count my blessings! I don’t mean those typical, I have my health & I’m alive blessings that we just tend to say to make us feel not so shitty. I physically take a moment to breathe and write down all that you are blessed with.

1. My son is reading, I had a hand in that.

2. Both of my parents are alive, and I have a great relationship with one of them

3. The rent was paid and I was able to fill the car with a full tank of gas

4. I had some really amazing meetings full of opportunity this week

5. My hair has grown faster than its grown in years

6. I got to sleep in later this morning

7. I got a sweet text from a boy I like

8. I had three years of love and companionship

9. I’m back in my home time

10. I was able to take a nap today undisturbed

 

Okay so these are just examples and some of them may seem silly, but when you sit back and write everything out and then read them over out loud, it’s truly hard to find something to complain about. It’s almost like you realize that when it comes down to it, I mean really comes down to it, there is nothing that you can’t work through or make it a better situation with a little work and belief. I mean bullshit happens and it happens to everyone, but when you surround yourself with you, you won’t be able to really climb out of it. All the negative things that have been thrown my way this week seems to roll off my back because I realize, it just isn’t that serious and no one can really steal my joy. How can they do that when I am so blessed and I have a list to prove it! Try a different perspective. I’m just saying… you never know, it may help! Just believe! See where it gets you!

Urban Elegance. Regal Streetwear. That is CodyHarr. January 10, 2012

I stand here as a proud big sister of LA’s newest underground clothing designer. My younger brother Cheyenne Harrell (who is also an amazing singer and apart of the R&B group Jake&Papa with my other little brother) has launched his new clothing line, CodyHarr. The line is for both women and men with a few select items for each season. I have my own CodyHarr limited edition women’s logo v-neck. Of course he has other great t-shirts & sweaters and even some very limited special edition hand-made silk shirts for men (SUPER BOMB), but my favorite is my v-neck! I LOVE the way it feels. It’s also super comfortable! I’ve worn it with jeans or under blazers with leggings & boots! My sister rocks her off the shoulder CodyHarr. sweater when she goes out!

Just check it out and see what you think. What he has now is a taste… I’ve seen the preview for his Spring line, y’all are gonna wanna stay tuned!!!

Again…with the Casey Anthony January 6, 2012

CASEY FREAKIN’ ANTHONY!! Lord! Lord! Lord! Will this child EVER go away?!

Here’s the deal, she either killed that baby and tried to cover it up! OR that baby had an accident and she tried to cover it up. Either way completely disgusted by her. Whatever the case is, she’s clearly a sociopath! Anyone who can party after such a horrific event is clearly disconnected from their feelings and there is NO room for sympathy. She’s clearly leaking these videos and photos, worried about weaving back into the real world looking for redemption and sympathy.
Seriously? Really?? As a mother, as a woman and as a human being I am completely disgusted and scared of this woman! Wouldn’t even want her looking at my child! She needs help! I don’t understand why those who are “helping” her are not really helping her. Her redemption is not gonna come from the imperfect humans of the nation but from the higher power she believes in, from the spirit of her child that will haunt.
Not to say that most of y’all are sociopaths, but u believe she can be used as an example for those who are always living for what others think of us! Yes this is an extreme case, but think about it. After everything she has been through, all the death threats she is surely receiving every hour, she leaked images of herself, exposing herself and endangering her life to gain acceptance from people that she HAS to know she will never win over. But being liked Ben though she has done wrong is more important than being truly remorseful or her safety. So many people are constantly doing things that jeopardize themselves to please or gain acceptance from others before trying to really get right from within!!

So I think it’s safe to say we can actually learn a lesson from Casey Anthony. The lesson is, look within and find peace there. Real peace, accept responsibility for your actions before you ask for forgiveness from others. Otherwise you’ll be living in false realities for the rest of your life.

And on another note….I really really really want this woman to go away! She should be underneath a jail! There are stable, loving, nurturing people out there being picked apart and going bankrupt to become parents, but anybody can get knocked up and be forced to care for another life! There is nothing wrong with giving your baby up to another family that will love that baby with all the love, respect and nurturing they deserve! It’s wrong if you keep that child, neglect, abuse or parade that child around like a trophy! There is no prize waiting for you just because you kept a child! Do the responsible and loving thing and give that child up for adoption. That child’s true family is waiting for them, I promise!

The Crazy Creole Mommy Chronicles! January 6, 2012

So I decided to start chronicling my journey on this crazy path of Mommyhood & Singlehood! I’m not abandoning Brooklynbites…but I am just adding a new addition to the family. So if you can relate to a young mom who loves art, living green & on a budget, food, great new spots, online deals and family or adult activities, following my journey on The Crazy Creole Mommy Chronicles ! Would love to have you! Read, comment, subscribe, follow and or share!!!

Crafty Mommy January 3, 2012

So most of you know my mommy is one of the hottest hairstylists in Hollywood, but what you don’t know is my mommy is somewhat of an artisan. She handcrafts a lot of things, and one of her big items that people rock are her crocheted skull caps & scarves. So after a little pushing from me and my friend Phillip, she has finally put her stuff up for sale online so you don’t have to email or visit the salon to purchase a cap/scarf! Visit her on ETSY! Her shop is called D by V at DayDreams by ValerieHarrell!! Right now she has skull caps up, but she also has a bunch of other stuff coming down the pipeline.

If caps don’t interest you, my mom also has her own line of custom made lotion, soy candles, glycerin bath gel, room infusers as well as jewelry by other local artisans for sale in her salon/boutique. You CAN NOT get these items on sale at ETSY, but she will take orders through email with a credit card purchase and will send anywhere in the country! I use her lotion in my daily regimen for the fresh scent and my ex burned her candles constantly because the scent was fresh and not too fruity! In essence, her stuff is pretty delish! And it’s reasonably priced. Visit her ETSY page or send her a quick email and place your order!

 

SHOP AT D BY V AT DAYDREAMS BY VALERIE HARRELL ONLY ON ETSY.COM

Handcrafted and custom made items only at DayDreams Salon & Boutique

Anew December 31, 2011

So I’m about 9 hours from a fresh start! I’m actually excited about this new year to begin. Not because I need to wash away the past nor do I wanna forget this year ever happened, I’m just excited to see what else God has in store for me. Yes, this year was a doozy! My LORD, was it insane, hard, confusing and draining, but it also brought a lot of blessings, laughter, growth and clarity! There is no reason to be bitter or angry at the circumstances, the players or the result, it’s all apart of life and growing.

One thing I have learned is that you have no control over what people think of you. You just don’t! You can do everything and anything they ask, and it’s quite possible that they will find fault either because they want to or they just don’t appreciate your effort. And that’s okay! It can be frustrating and hurtful but it’s okay, you know you did the right thing and you only have control over your actions and your heart.

I’ve also learned a lot about love. I once believed that people were just meant for each other and if they were then, well it would work itself out. Sadly, I think my partner believed the same thing. But that’s not necessarily true. Yes people walk into your life for reasons and it could be that your love is strong and meant to be. But you have to work at it! You just do! Period! Relationships…ever lasting partnerships take work! The love will always be there, but the work is hard and has to be done. If you aren’t willing to work at being a true partner to your mate, then what are you doing?! Being true in your thoughts, your heart, your soul and your words is so important! Basically, innocent flirting can cause distractions and force you to misplace your loyality to your mate and to your family. Giving your all doesn’t just mean secluding yourself from the world and diving into “family life”. Giving your all is bringing something to the table. Creating dreams and goals and sticking to them together. Communicating and loving that person the way they needed to be love. Quieting outside distractions and tuning into your lover’s silent needs and fulfilling them. I also learned that just because you had an amazing love once….it doesn’t mean you won’t have it again. And I know I will have my greatest love soon!

I don’t know if 2012 will bring my great love or tons of riches… but I will continue to be successful in life, love and mommy hood! Start the new year with a plan, but don’t be afraid to bend and fold, let go and grab a hold, move forward and be free. Nothing is for sure! Nothing is perfect! Find the light and the hope in everything! Take a deep breath tonight and get ready for the ride!

ENJOY 2012!! I know I will!

Good Bye Lover, Good Bye Friend November 19, 2011

One year ago to the day I was up this early with butterflies in my stomach, hustling and bustling around. Hesitant to leave, yet extremely excited to start anew. One year ago to the day I was on my way to you. Armed with a bag full of hopes, thoughts and dreams, our child attached to my hip I said good bye to everything I knew to start our family anew.

One year later to the day I am up early with butterflies in my stomach, hustling and bustling around. Knowing I have to leave, and extremely sad to start anew. One year later to the day you are asking me to leave you and the love sanctuary we built behind. Weighed down with grief, guilt and saddness at the thought of our failed attempt to commit to this family I say goodbye to the two most important people in my life to find a way to start a new family for me and Hippo.

We were the face of hope and faith. So many regrets. Maybe I could have listened more, better. Maybe I could have loved more, better. Maybe I could have spoken more, better. Maybe I could have prayed more, better. Maybe I could have opened up more, better. Maybe you’d still love me more, better. Maybe we’d still be finding a way to make it more, better.

I will miss more than the representation, but the foundation on which we stood, friendship. Somedays I see hints of it still linger in your eyes. Somedays my heart isn’t crushed with the weight of abandonment. But most days I am just lost in a vacuum of confusion.

I am happy that you’re happy. But I am not happy you are happy without me. Sometimes I wonder if we ever really loved like we say we did. How did a love so strong, die so quickly? One year to the day, you and I made promises to one another. One year later to the day those promises get taped up with the last box. Our poor son living in bliss with two parents, sleeping with comfort and ease in his bed not realizing that, Mommy doesn’t live here anymore. I broke my vow to him, to fight for my family to the end. I promised to always find a way to make it work, that’s how much I believed in us. But one person can’t believe for two. Unfortunately, I am all out of fight. I don’t have enough fight for two people.

To my lover, to my friend. Is it too cliche to say that you will always have my heart? Is too late to say, you were my heaven? My source of joy & frustration. I never believed in anything more than I believe that you and I were true love’s kiss. Perhaps we loved too much in another lifetime, that God wanted to give other’s a chance to enjoy us. Or perhaps you just didn’t get the memo that we were suppose to make it. Well, the circumstances, the reasons are what they are. And here we are two strangers searching for the right words to say to one another, instead of trying to help heal each other’s wounds. Maybe all of this was just a dream. Maybe we never really loved like we said we loved. But I still believed it. I know it was real, it’s alive in this house. It’s alive in our son’s smile. Goodbye lover and friend, you will be… you are missed. You were more than a feeling. You were more than a house. You were more than a thought. You were more than you imagined. You will remain in my heart until the sun sets on my life. Thank you for the push. Thank you for the warmth. Thank you for the shelter. Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for the companionship. Thank you for the passion. Thank you for the greatest love, our son. Thank you for believing. Thank you for loving.

That’s it. That’s all I got. The words have left me. I don’t want to leave, but I know there is nothing for me to stay for. Goodbye my old lover…. Goodbye my old friend…