identity
I just hopped off of a telephone interview where someone asked me to describe myself. Describe where I am from and where I plan to go.
It got me thinking. I am my mother’s daughter and she is her mother’s daughter… essentially I am Cleonia. I am the fighter of preservation of family. I am unconditional love. I am creativity and productivity. I am warm and gently and affectionate. I am fire and fight.
My grandmother and I share heritage and a bond that started when she invited me and my mother back into her home on my fourth day here on this earth. My grandmother are of the same race, but not the same color and the only thing we physically share are the curves in our lips and full fledged belly laugh. But everything else I am is because of her. My ability to read and retain, my love of music and cinema, my love of culture, my adventurous spirit, my religious faith… all Cleonia. She fought to keep me in a dress and make up on my face…but she accepted my love for football and the need to play with my brothers and not the girls on the block. Our bond is envied by friends and foes alike… as some can’t even remember the smell of their grandmother’s kitchen.
So I suppose, when he asked me the question I should have answered that I am Valerie and Valerie is Cleonia and Cleonia is me.
poetry from the heart
These were not written by me, but by a writer I know who shall remain nameless. I stole them! 
they are great and decided to share them with everyone!
and i sat and gazed upon her
so loving and wonderful
so right and true
i well up with tears at the single thought
that i will keep her happy
until our years are many
i feel a void has been filled
my love is here
all is well
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ponder this if you will
the stance of a man
not famous nor popular
not poor nor rich
not a man of much culture
just an ordinary man
up at 6am
on come the slippers
automatic grind and brew of a medium roast hot and fresh at 6:15
as many might do he gathers his thoughts
he sits and gazes at the world
thoughts are few as sleep loosens its grasp
another day of the same daily living
small recalliberating variations providing a lucrative front
my love in words
In the midst of destruction and disaster
I sit
wrapped in a heavenly embrace of bliss
pure and true
lover’s first kiss came to me in a dream
at the age of 2
true love discovered
with the suspension of time and space
your face was my dream come true
my joy trips off of my lips like the dew on a tulip
you are my forever
solidified in truth, warmth and passion
I am reborn whole and certain
that the future is in your brown eyes
that caress me underneath the night sky
I am forever yours
and you are mine
we are love
The Angelinajoliehollyrobinsonpeete Effect
I am a woman. I am daughter. I am a sister. I am a partner. I am an artist. I am an assistant. I am in love.
There are so many facets to many young women today. We are the generation after the women’s intense movement, but we have brought so much technology and advancement to the work place that it would be a crime to go back to the kitchen and to our aprons. But how do we have it all?
Sometimes when I think about my future I see a vast open horizon ahead of me and it is exciting. Husband, Children, Production Company and Foundation. I am at the brink of my career taking a leap into the open air with no hesitation. But my heart and soul opened up this year and I found love. That lockdown, everlasting, comfortable, passionate love that I can’t seem to remember what bliss was before this. At 25, it seems as though my life is ready to make such a huge change. At 25, it seems I am closer to my directing debut and closer to my wedding day. At 25, I seem to have all the things that will make me great. Yet, at 25 I am having trouble balancing it all. At 25, I can’t seem to make anyone directly effected by my actions happy. At 25, I feel like I am failing.
Could it be that the women like my Mother, Angelina Jolie and Holly Robinson Peete who have full fledge active successful careers, at least four children and their own businesses/foundations are just annomilies. Can I never be that superwoman because she doesn’t exist? Is she as rare as a Mozart, Picasso, Einstein?? Was I too arrogant to think that I too could have it all, including the hot body??
love’s truth
tonight i find myself with a knot in my stomach because my words, my truth has hurt someone. a someone who creeped into my very soul without a beat and without a fight from me. a truth that had nothing to do with this someone, but to be honest about a situation that wasn’t a situation, is suppose to be the best medicine. then why am i not well? why is this someone hurting because of the truth or the possibility that the truth can become truths in the future?
i am human. i am not perfect. i cannot predict the future. i will not make promises and swear to something that could happen in the future. will i work my damnedest to make sure it never happens again? yes. do i want it to happen again? no. the truth of the truth is, it was meant to be at the moment, in that time and shared between two people who have loved one another in the purest way which evolved into confusion that now has clarity. the truth is i am not sorry that it happened, the moment was perfect timing before true loves first kiss.
now true love’s first kiss is the only thing on my mind. that someone was led to me because of past truths that overdosed into nightmares.
but love is here. love is afraid of the truth. love should know that the only truths that are truths is the love has taken over me and all I see is love.
