He held me as I gave a toothless scream in the night air
Then the seasons changed and he left with the winter breeze in search of himself, not looking back.
He was my first kiss
Babes playing in the summer sun running free on not too sturdy legs, searching for adventure
He was my first date
Dancing with me through the ballroom on air in dark red raw silk the envy of a few
He was the first to say, I Love You
I broke his heart without a thought plagued by teenage confusion& hormones I could not see love through his innocent eyes or in the taste of those freshly baked heart-shaped cookies
He led me to believe that I was his everything
While he showed me off like a gold glittering trophy to envious men across the country, I slept in a fog of immaturity and unconditional love not seeing who I was to him
He was my friend
With a love that I mistook for a lovers passion but since found comfort in his friendship and trust. A love not plagued by romance, but true and steady, never wavering.
He showed me romance and passion
Standing on an abandoned street downtown while the wind ripped through the buildings creating small tornadoes of paper and dirt, are eyes never wavered from one another. Intimacy without ever touching.
He said my mind made me beautiful and my passion made him kiss me
But we could never find a way to stay as we were separated by his inability to look beyond the need for perfection and see that he had it all along.
He said I saved him and he would never love another like he loved me
But when I needed him the most he lost faith and abandoned his post.
He said Mommy
And I knew for the first time in my life what love truly meant
He said I was the one that got away
But the phone stopped ringing
He said I was his Scully, The Thinking Man’s Playmate
But he couldn’t wait for my heart to heal and chose the path to a ready-made love though his soul told him to stay.
Connected to each soul in a different way for a lifetime. It was good. It was love. But only one is everlasting. That which is the love created in me from HE who created me. The others are twenty-nine years of lessons. And so I wait. There is a he. A lighthouse searching me out in this storm of and sea of sharks and krill. To be beautiful for a life time and not a season. We are born. Falling in love with those that created us and in search of our own life mates. We take on their faults, allowing them to be excuses for falling for what we believe lifetime love masked in seasonal romance. Making mistakes and punishing ourselves by blocking our blessings with excuses and blame. I continue my search with an open heart, smiling eyes and a laugh tripping off my lips. Grateful for Him and He and the lessons they brought. I now look for him, he is looking for me.
He will come
Or perhaps he is already here. Who is to say? But He will find me so that we may sit on the porch on warm summer nights as my gray hair blows in the wind, watching the leaves change. And we will just be.
Brooklyn's Bites 